she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
