omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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