Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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