is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
