Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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