but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
