my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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