I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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