We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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