Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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