I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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