Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
third nipple confirmed
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
