I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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