how can u be prego again
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
