i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize