Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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