bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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