This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
