currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize