Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i now understand why vodka
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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