I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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