turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
