Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
