I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
