it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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