one two three fourrrrnication!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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