the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
