Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
