Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
