oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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