what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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