just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
