I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
