i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
