I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
