What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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