I can't watch pbs sober anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize