there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
