Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Randomize
