but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
