i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
