well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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