I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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