I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
