theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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