is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
