I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
