butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
