your room smells of hookers.
And success
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
