you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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