you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
