I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
