dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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