you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
