Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize