I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
