when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
